If somebody challenges you to go out of your comfort zone how will you respond to it? Will you put an armor on? Will you be naked? How real can you go?
Does this really matter? will you be seen as the weakling if you step back and chose not to enter the arena?
What is showing up? and how will you show up? How do you want to be seen?
Tonight, my mind wanders to the woods, into the sky, and in deep deep waters.
I’ve been learning a lot about how to be good and how you can possibly change someone or “worst” the world. I said worst because it’s a big challenge its a lot of risks to change the world. The world will see you and it will criticize you until you feel small. (?)
Is this what they call “fear”? How will you name your fear? Is it genetically wired? Are we going to live forever in fear? fear of rejections, failures, disappointments and the list will go on and on. How about those who literally are living in fear? chaos? abandonment? abused?threats?
I was heading today to my Institute to do my check in or evaluation for the course, it will take me about 45 minutes bus ride to arrive there. So while I was on the bus I began to flip some pages of the book that I am reading for almost 2 weeks now. It’s a really interesting book and it’s not that thick I just couldn’t find that one sitting to really divulge myself in.
It was when the three main characters met up at the bar and shared their deepest secrets. The two men spoke about the first sexual experience they had and how great it was and how nerve-racking to finally do something crazy and show their masculinity. It was a light conversation until they asked the only woman in the group about her experience in the topic. At first, she hesitated and told them that they can’t handle the story. Both men booed her and began to joke with her since they were close , she also has that reputation for fooling around other men while her boyfriend is away. And then something changed maybe it was the alcohol or the teasing or maybe the bar then she began to tell her story.
“It was my mother’s eldest brother”, she said.
This part got me into flipping pages without even noticing that I am near to my bus stop. I began to think about the experiences and stories of people I heard and how “fear” is always present. Some people don’t want to be seen because the arena that they are entering are so vast and that they are afraid to get lost. Is this vulnerability? was the woman in chapter four showed her vulnerability? or courage? How can you distinguish between those two? is the first word a negative thing? and the second silver lines it?
How would you like to be seen?